Brotherhood, one of Alpha Kappa Psi’s five core values, is hard to describe. It is the aspect of the fraternity that members experience the most often but can rarely name. The closest I have come to accomplishing this was, ironically enough, only after I was separated from my brothers while studying in Paris.
My semester abroad was amazing, but I never expected how lonely it would be. I had dreamed of going to Paris for years, and I found enjoyment and meaning in every moment there. However, I realized after a few weeks that I did not have anyone in the city to share all these experiences with. I had made friends with the other Americans in my program and even a few French students, but these connections were what Aristotle would call friendships of utility; friendships based on mutual benefits that do not last after the benefits are gone. I spent time with these friends because we were all foreigners and needed company. I only understood this after my trip to visit AKPsi brothers in October.
About two months into my semester in Paris, brother Matt Yam visited me from his own program in Florence. It was during one of my busiest weeks of the semester. My family visiting from Minnesota had just left, I took my first midterm at a French University, and it was Halloween! By the time Matt came to visit me for the weekend, I was exhausted, but I still jumped at the opportunity to show him the city I had come to love. He told me that our other brothers in Europe were all coming to Florence over the next week and invited me to stay with him. Although my plane ticket wasn’t cheap on such short notice and I wouldn’t have much time to study for my classes, I accepted his invitation enthusiastically.
When I arrived in Florence and saw everyone (about ten brothers in total) I knew my enthusiasm was well-placed. Our activities together – discovering a new city, eating great food, and touring museums – were not unique or special on paper. But being in Florence as a group had a magic about it that I have not felt since, the magic of being amongst one’s people. What we had was not a friendship of utility. The bond that brought us all together across national borders and hundreds of miles was what Aristotle called friendship of the good; a friendship based on mutual appreciation of shared virtues and values. This connection, built on the strongest of foundations, lasts longer than nearly any other. Ultimately, this friendship of the good is brotherhood: a bond that goes beyond mere convenience or necessity, but a true sense of community that accepts you with open arms and motivates you to be your best self. When I left Europe at the end of that semester, I was sad to say goodbye to Paris. Even that deep sadness though, was outweighed by the joy and anticipation I felt to come home to Tulane and be amongst all my people again. I have not gone back to Florence since then, but the brotherhood I felt there is present whenever I spend time with my AKPsi brothers.
By Andy Degnim
